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Insomnia Induced Insanity

Oct. 3rd, 2015 10:11 pm Update

So...I am on the last few scenes of my reel_merlin fic. I shall send it in by midnight or something. My dramione_duet needs so much work. I have to reset it as I'm questioning why I set it in Vienna....

So, I'm officially a student and I'm loving it. Downside, I lost my job because of it, so i'm hustling on the job hunt.

I also woke up this morning and decided I was sick of my longish hair, so I cut it. Myself. In my bathroom. Its not great but its working for me.

I'm rewatching Sleepy Hollow. I'm not sure why. The fall season has some awesome new shows that are rocking my world. BUT, the stand out this year has to be KILLJOYS. what an awesome show.

I need to write a MCR reunion fic. Cos I miss them. And Bandom has died a swift death around here.

So, the motorbike accident I had a month ago has come back to haunt me. My right knee does this funny thing that if i touch under my knee cap, it burns on the right side of my calf. I'll go doctor it when I have time and money.

What's happening with you ladies out there???

Also, is it weird that I have better orgasms with my showerhead than normal sex???

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Sep. 7th, 2015 08:58 pm Bangkok Happened...

Please please don't ask me how my Reel_Merlin is going. I had 12 pages, read it and decided it was shit, so three days from the deadline I'm starting from scratch.

I would have had it done sooner, but things have been happening.

1) Border visa visits to Laos (two days of my life wasted - I would not reccommend Laos to anyone.)
2) University - I am now officially a student!!! I start classes in October!
3) School.
Let me tell you a secret about the Thai school system, which is a reflection of the Thai culture - THEY DO NOT ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENT THOUGHT!
The entire country is a mother state where citizens are told - don't worry - the King or Military government will do all your thinking for you. And that's how you breed a state of beaureucrats. Seriously. My school director is all about the written lesson plans and such. then I'm spending too many lesson teachign them how ot talk, then too few, then I'm ahead of the other teachers, then I'm behind. ARGH!!

AND, AND, in one class - I have 7 - count them -7 psychopaths. One kid stabbed another with a pencil in the arm. I saw him spontaneously punch another kids the day before for no reason! And no actions were taken. Because in Thailand they do not punish / discipline their kids.

It is emotionally draining, to say the least.
Mostly because these are all spoiled Bangkok kids who are raised by Phillipino nannies.

My mate is currently squatting on my floor until she finds a place to stay.

This past weekend was my birthday - I had a few friends at a pool party hosted by a gay club entertainment group - cos they throw the best parties. Got spoilt rotten with free champers until the Fuzz shut the party down for sound level violations. It was a good night.

Next weekend, I'm pulling a Cinderella and attending a proper ball hosted by the South African Embassy. I need to go borrow a ball gown late this week from a new friend I made. I hope it'll be awesome. I even found glow in the dark nailpolish!!!!

Right..off to work on the fic...

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Aug. 6th, 2015 05:52 pm Procrastination 101

Things I Should Be Doing:

Completing 4 Reader tests for my kids (Due last Monday)
Paying my bills (Due yesterday)
Finishing my Reel Merlin fic (Due - soonish)
Finishing my Dramione Duets fic (Due - soonish)

Things I Am Doing:

Listening to Pandora
Trawling AO3 for inspirational fics
Waiting for my laundry to finish so I can hang it up to dry.
Waiting for 7:30pm to do an online tutor session

My sister and her fiance are here until Saturday and while I love seeing them, the timing always sucks cos I'm working and I have adult responsibilities to take care of and I'm always always tired.
PLUS I am short on cash due to visas so I can't really take them out.
BUT I have two new students to pick up once this current contract is done, so that saves me some hassle in the finances department.

Anyone on Bangkok time to kick my ass into gear???

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Jul. 10th, 2015 07:19 pm

I have cancelled my weekly extra corporate gig because it was killing me.
I now only teach for two hours per day on the weekends, which is comfortable - except for the part where i spend an hour on my scooter either way weaving through Bangkok traffic.

This gives me more time to hang out in my apartment and discover things about myself.

A List:

1) I am actually a pretty good cook.
2) When I sit at my desk without a bra, I can rest my boobs on the desk top. This leads to my back feeling unbelieveable amounts of relief.
3) I like the new shows that have come out eg Scream, Stitchers, Killjoys etc
4) I have successfully applied to do my degree and shall be studenting shortly.
5) My Dramione Duet is about 500 words in. My Reel_Merlin is 8000 words in and I've only hit one plot point so far. gaaaahhhhh
6) I rediscovered my love for Asterix comics.
7) My new spirit animal is Miranda Hart
8) I am definitely suffering from PTSD from the events of 2013-2014.
9) Hanging out naked in my apartment is not just a luxury, its a nessecity.
10) Doing yoga in my apartment turns into Bikram yoga with a lot of gross sweaty slipping.
11) There are no good yoga videos on youtube. Every single one of those yogis are as dry as a bowl of the granola they eat - without the nice raisins to make it fun. WHERE ARE THE FUN, JOKEY YOGIS?????
12) Y'all are Jon Snow when it comes to the heat. I live in a permanent summer. Haven't worn a sweater in nearly a year. And I love it!

And yes - I'm still here.

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Jun. 13th, 2015 12:18 pm Unsupervised Adulting

Just when I thought I had got myself on track and was getting ahead with this being an adult thing, I do something so stupid.

I put in a day's leave from work to go to the embassy and my uni to get some red tape handled.

The night before, I end up at Pattys enjoying their buy1get1 cocktail special. Next thing I know, I'm meeting up with a guy, buying late night pastrami sandwiches and heading to mine for some action. (That was awkward).
The next morning I'm so hungover I can't move. I sleep for most of the day.

Now, It's Saturday. I woke up early and had a feeling I had to be somewhere. Around lunchtime I remembered I had a tutor class! I quickly rescheduled for tomorrow.

I should just never leave my apartment. I should also stop going to Pattys.

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Mar. 1st, 2015 08:58 pm Work It!

So, the end of my first semester here in Thailand has come to an end. But not my time here. The school has decided not to renew my contract and in a way, I'm relieved. It was rather stifling.
So, I am now a freelance english tutor and have a really good corporate contract for the next 15 weeks. In order to prep the classes (because this is something you can't wing - I've tried) I spent my morning getting a CISS added to my printer so I can print out the material.
Its now 9pm and I'm still printing stuff.

And I signed up for reel_merlin - oh my god! Can I do this??? Its been a long hiatus from writing.

Anyway, my mom is flying out in April and we will be spending Songkran fest in Phuket (I will send pics). Its exciting, but I need to budget so carefully as I have to start paying uni tuition too. And I have to buy a motor bike as transport here is expensive. And slow. And unreliable.

Right. So, that's my update from hot and humid Bangkok.

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Jan. 8th, 2015 10:02 pm Silver Linings

Guys. GUYS!

You know how people always say trust the universe, ask and it will provide. What they often forget is that the universe needs you to do the legwork.

Up to this afternoon, I was close to a melt down. Stressed beyond healthy.

I have so much to get set and planned.

Student visa, but for a student visa I need to be a student so I need tuition money. My school will be closed over March and April for major holidays - I won't be getting paid, so I need to cover rent and food as well.
I needed extra work and I needed it urgently.

I placed a few ads and today things came together. My one tutor student wants 6 hours a week - Tuition covered!
I have my regular Sunday School session - food covered
I have 2 new potential students - rent covered - possibly with savings.

So, in exchange for having a somewhat stable income stream, I will have no free time. Its a small price to pay until my new contract.

Oh and I'm looking for a new condo closer to town. Going to view them tomorrow and Sunday. Can't wait!

Now I just need to get laid. or have an awesome massage. Either one will do.

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Dec. 31st, 2014 09:54 pm 2015

As I type this, I realise that is truly the first time I have ever spent a NYE alone.

Not that I didn't have options for social frivolity, but I chose this solo en devour. And I'm in two minds now that I made my choice.
I would have loved to have been surrounded by people, having a good time, celebrating a new year and all that. But two reasons sent me to the alone part.

1) My salary was dismal
2) I would have spent the evening with thousands of other people - none of whom I really like.

My chances of a NYE kiss are the same whether I'm home or out, and home has cheaper booze and a toilet that I trust.

This whole year has been mental. I started it out with ideas and plans and dreams and by June, everything had changed.

I love change.

And yet now- I don't want as much change as I did.

I have only two resolutions for this year.
1) Be a brilliant teacher
2) Learn to play my uke.

The rest - the personal growth, the dreams, the ambitions - I have them, but I've learnt that putting a time line on these things will just cause undue stress and possibly the world ending.

And I am truly scared. I have no idea what comes next. Usually its liberating, but at the moment, it's scary as hell. I really have no idea what to do.

This is based on my revelation that I had - I'm all for feminism and such but the past week made me realise that I don't actually want a job.
I want a family. I want a veggie garden. I want a big kitchen. I want laughter and hugs and crayons on the walls. I want PTA meetings and school plays and holidays with stupid traditions. I want everything I shouldn't dream of asking for.

I always wanted it. I just never thought it was appropriate under my circumstances.

Happy New Year people.

Let's make 2015 our bitch.

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Dec. 28th, 2014 12:36 pm Another Meme - cos I'm procrastinating

taken from bunney to do whilst I listen to the Good Omens radio play and put off doing lesson plans.

What is your salad dressing of choice? Balsamic
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? My old local pub - The Keg
What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of? Grilled Cheese
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Chicken, shrooms and extra cheese
What do you like to put on your toast? Butter and marmite

How many television sets are in your house? 1
What color cell phone do you have? Blue Samsung Galaxy S3

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right-handed
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? tonsils, wisdom teeth
What is the last heavy item you lifted? my laptop
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope. I have a thick skull.

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? My name is unique, so i'm gonna keep it.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Nope.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? one
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? ummmm...uhhh...
Last person you talked to? my sister
Last person you hugged? i was hugged by my class of 6 year olds...

Season? Summer
Holiday? Xmas
Day of the week? Saturday
Month? September

Missing someone? no.
Mood? okay
What are you listening to? Good Omens radio play
Watching? my spelling
Worrying about? making 50 baht stretch to pay day. saving enough cash for uni and student visa.

First place you went to this morning? the bathroom
What's the last movie you saw? The Thin Man (1934)
Do you smile often? Not anymore


1) Do you always answer your phone? Nope.
2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? spam from network
3) If you could change your eye color what would it be? brighter green
4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Not sure what Sonic is.
5) Do you own a digital camera? nope
6) Have you ever had a pet fish? nope
7) Favorite Christmas song? Santa Baby
8) What's on your wish list for your birthday? Boobjob
9) Can you do push ups? yes. just not many.
10) Can you do a chin up? i haven't tried.
11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited? Nervous - I have no idea what's coming.
12) Do you have any saved texts? no.
13) Ever been in a car wreck? nope.
14) Do you have an accent? yeah - british with a few south africanisms thrown in.
15) What is the last song to make you cry? can't recall
16) Plans tonight? pretty much the same as what i'm doing now.
17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? A few times
18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week: coffee, drinking water, cigs.
19) Have you ever been given roses? yes.
20) Current worry? money and lack thereof.
21) Current hate right now? Bangkok. and being broke.
22) Met someone who changed your life? Yes and then he died.
23) How did you bring in the New Year? 2014 - wine and family. 2015 - wine and strangers.
24) What song represents you? All by myself by Celine Dion (at least for now)
25) Name three people who might complete this? No one reads my journal anymore
26) What were you doing 12 AM last night? attempting to sleep.
27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? waking up alone again.

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Dec. 21st, 2014 09:50 am Update - I'm still alive

So, Bangkok has been keeping me busy. Mostly with work.

My kids are equal parts amazing and assholes. I will be spending my xmas break doing lesson plans for the second half of the semester - fun.
I'm also doing TESOL tutoring online, so goodbye free time.

Thailand, being mostly Buddist, doesn't celebrate xmas except on a purely commercial level. All the malls are done up and to be honest, it looks amazing.

I have been reading a lot, mostly about the dark ages - I've rekindled my love for history.
I have read - An Utterly Impartial History of Britian
Keith Ramsbottom
and - 1000 years of Annoying the French

All three are hilarious historical insights.

I also joined an expat wine club, so, I'm peopling once a week. Which is good.

I had to pop over to Cambodia yesterday for a visa renewal. It's green. That's about it.

I plan to do more touristy things next year, when I have cash. Which is still pretty tight.

Merry xmas you lot. Hope its a good one.

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